cRaZy RANKS SURVIVOR WORLDS APART: PT1

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Greetings all from my beloved Vortex of Power! I am here bringing you another fun, and exciting Ranking!

Anyway I had been putting this off for a LONG WHILE (About two weeks...), and I finally stopped working out and sculpting my body, Graduated one school and am transferring to another very soon, and getting cast in TWO SHOWS IN A ROW pursuing my acting dreams, and such. I finally decided to give ya a full Ranking of Survivor Season 30's Castaways! And lemme tell ya.....

This season is not good. It was Okay at first, but then the merge came around, and we were hit with one of the most negative seasons of all time! Seriously what the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS HAPPENED!?

The season started out on solid enough ground, and the Pre-merge was actually quite a lot of fun seeing shifting votes, and a few blindsides here, and there, but then...The Merge happened, and literally every single person who I absolutely disliked/hated/didn't care for- GANGED UP AND ANALLY REAMED THE SEASON INTO THE EFFING GROUND! Holy crap! I mean from the amount of Sexism, Arrogance, Boring Personality, Explosive Personality's, No real shifting gameplay, and outright cruel, and unusual Behavior within the game, and Post Game this season literally swan dived from a good season into an "I am so thankful that it's Over" Kind of Season.

Sure the fact our winner this season was one man who was able to fight back against the odds, and challenge dominate his way through the remainder of the game....but at the same time what else was there? 

NOTHING! NOTHING, OTHING, THING, HING, ING, NG, G, 

NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!

Every storyline that was being set up by all the amazing, and likable players literally died upon Merge Arrival, and we were left with the worst final 8 in the history of the show!

I WILL NOT HAVE ANY OF THIS THAILAND HAD THE LEAST LIKABLE FINAL FOUR BULLCRAP EITHER! THIS SEASON'S FINAL EIGHT ALONE TAKES THE CAKE FOR WORST! (Okay Maybe Redemption Island might give it a run for it's Money, but then again the RI Final eight had the personalities of Dry wall where this group was just too effing Negative)

Heck even the editing got wonky at times, and a lot of crucial characters literally had zero character at all at some points. Ugh....

Whatever I ranted about my frustrations long enough, aside from the Pre-Merge, and very few characters Now without Further ado let's get this Ranking Started.

18: DAN (6th Place)

Frigging Duh.

Let me be clear here. Dan is my second least favorite Character/Player in the series history (The very bottom goes to Phillip Sheppard), but the fact he's only second to last I don't want to linger anymore on him. He drains me when I write about him, he is a scar on the series a big massive ugly bearded blemish that I cannot tolerate, and hopefully thanks to him being a complete delusional weirdo on social media we'll be hopefully spared anymore seasons with him on it. All I can say is he's an idiot who wasted his vote doubler advantage, and annoyed me throughout with his sexism, and misogyny. I pray to God we never see this idiot ever again and may casting try to find less people like him in the future.

#17: WILL (Joint Runner Up)

I hate final threes so much! they suck, and suck, and suck, and suck! I really hate this one in particular because this awful dead fish has the distinction of tieing for second place! Ugh! Now initially Will was in my relative "Ok List" he seemed like a genuine person out there, and was kind of a fun character one could point and laugh at, and wonder why the heck he was still even there....but then it became less, and less fun to do that, and i started to wonder what he was indeed still doing there, and why he was becomeing less, and less relevant as weeks progressed....

And then he turned out to be Satan! Sheezus his Turn on Shirin came right the out of nowhere it had literally zero development up to that point, and on top of that whatever likability he did have with me went straight down the crapper! Then I realized...he was a Finals Goat. This turd was going to be either Second, or Third Place this season....After that event I severed any love i had for Will and replaced it with nothing but disgust, and I am hoping to God he never returns ever again. Pffft IT figures that the worst castaway from the best Tribe that Season (The No Collars) Not only made finals, but was also the worst of the entire tribe. Will can rightly stay off my TV, and never return....Freaking Rodney voted for this ass! Excuse me while I go barf for a second....

16th. SIERRA (5th Place)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You were such a waste in potential! She was the very definition of the phrase “All Bark, and No Bite.” This was Sierra in a nutshell....

-I hate Rodney, and Dan they are sexist!

-OMG They voted out my BFF Lyndsey I'm so gonna get revenge!

-I might vote one of those jerks out tonight! Ooooh Just wacth!

-OMG I have to get rid of the No Collars since they are in the minority they are the biggest Threats!

-We’ll vote Mike out eventually guys! (Keeps Losing)

-I deserve to be here because I’m a hard worker…….(Gets torch Smuffed)

Ugh! STAY OFF MY TV!

 

15th. TYLER (7th Place)

This guy is dry wall, he is the definition of the word plain, he is boring personified, and he looks like a smug dillweed most of the time. What really bothers me though is he truly had no personality whatsoever even in his jury speech where he told Carolyn he was heartbroken….he said it so flaccidly…so calmly, and so utterly terrifyingly normal like he wasn’t heartbroken in the slightest. I have come to the belief that Tyler really was a cannibal, and the only way he could keep himself from stabbing, and eating people alive was by having this persona! Again he is someone who can rightfully stay the heck off my TV what an unfun piece of asbestos!

 

14th. RODNEY (4th Place)

I am surprised I have four people under him when I look at it, but to give him credit his Impressions of his cast members are funny…but that’s literally it.

Rodney was just a massive complainer, a crybaby, a sore loser, and just an unlikable thug who uses the fact he has a dead sister to hook up with chicks. That’s just wrong on so many levels. His speech pattern annoyed the hell out of me, and his constant sexism, misogyny, and rancid personality soured this season to the core. His only good thing was he actually knew how to get jury votes which then scared me even more because I for a little while thought this guttersnipe might actually win at some point, thankfully he got CaralOwned. I hate his character, and how he had such a sense of entitlement about him, and the fact he just looked like a piece of garbage fresh out of the gate, and he voted for Will forcing the Tie for 2nd place….what a nasty troll. Stay off my TV you jackass, and take your tacky suit with you.

 

#13: KELLY (12th Place)

WHO ARE YOU!? I made an early prediction pre-game that I saw nothing special about Kelly in any way shape, or form. Her first few episodes all she did was be an uninspired background character with the same kind of traits as Tyler, quiet unassuming, and bland. Really the only thing anyone will ever remember her for is her head injury, and how she walked it off like a champ, but even then she still did like zero things of any true interesting feats, I mean she was Mike’s ally so I guess we were supposed to like her? Anyway then she makes the merge, and GASP she gets blindsided with an idol! The only thing I wish could had happened that Tribal Council was that they voted out Dan instead of her because at least she wasn’t Dan! So yeah this is Kelly….whoopee she was a boring pre-juror…

 

#12: SO (18th Place)

Disappointing. I had high hopes for So, but she did shoot herself in the foot on that first episode, and her lie was ridiculously dumb. I was wishing she’d be a lot smarter than what she was on this season since they brought her back after her, and her sister were pulled from Season 29, but nope she just proved to be an inept player…sigh…next.

 

#11: JOAQUIN (13th Place)

LOL WHAT EVEN!? This guy ranking so high when I initially put him off as a pre-juror, and alol lookie here I was correct! Now Joaquin himself was a sort of fun villain to hate. He had a delicioius elimination for sure, but other than that he was sort of a nasally voiced sounding challenge hulk. I’m just glad he left when he did he probably would have gotten really annoying had he, and Rodney survived to the merge together.

 

#10: MAX (14th Place)

Oh Maximillian, the teacher, the super fan, and the most epicly bearded man of the season….you were….okay?

I’m kind of mixed on Max in a few aspects, on the one hand he seemed to really actually be having a great time out there, and he was one of the few people who I was sad left pre-merge, and he, and Shirin were fun to see being weird together, and how he involves himself in the Survivor Community is quite admirable….but at the same time….

The guy made Superfans look like unaware caricatures of what superfans really are. Now this isn’t his fault, but he was made to look annoying on the season, and yeah I will admit he did annoy me a bit while he was there especially his boot episode where he just became a complete weirdo with a foot infection… Also I disagree with a lot of his post game interviews. He had a terrible social game, and I think was mainly being dragged along as opposed to him thinking he was ever in any real power. Then again I don’t hate this guy, but I do hope he doesn’t return as well. 

I need some time...I'll finish this Ranking Later I need to Watch Pearl Islands (AN actual Good Season) Blehhh Wasted Potential.

Tune in next time Where I finish this Ranking my Friends!

© 2015 - 2024 cRaZy9219
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machine146's avatar
I did like Max for being so unaware of how annoying he is. I had no reason to hate him and he had some funny moments. At first I was upset because Shirin was spared instead of him but the next episode Shirin ended up being pretty good and thus Max was forgotten except for his beard. To be honest I hated this season as it ranks just above Redemption Island. It was the second worst season I have ever seen. 

I think Tyler and will could have been edited to be more likeable but I think the editors wanted us to hate the majoroity alliace to make Mike more likable. Which is why Will was so UTR and Tyler was so boring. hopefully next season will be better